it’s not my orgasm
i’m after
but the moment right before
when everything disappears
and there’s only this feeling
all love and shame collapsed
body tense and shaking
infinite bliss in possibility–
don’t let go

but as with all things
release inevitably comes
and, with it, the pain of longing
returns
surging like the creek after rain,
shallow pit in my stomach,
hollow in my chest,
a hard truth, this ritual
sacrifice